With each passing day I try to tell myself that it is not such a big deal that Tatum has WS and I can handel it all just fine....Yeah untill I go to pick her up from daycare and see the new 6 week old baby there. HUM funny how she is almost doing the same things as Tatum. I would bet in about 3 weeks this baby is going to be moving right along past her. I know, I know ,you can not compare children, easier said then done especially when your Child was born in "ITALY"....I read this poem first on a Blog from another parent of a WS child and then it was shared again with the WS list server. I think it is something I am going to be reading over and over for a while still....
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
By Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
I could not get spell check to work so please don't hold the spelling against me :)
1 comment:
Trust me, you are not alone with this. There are so many other moms that are going through the exact same feelings and heartaches.
Hang in there because I will be coming to visit VERY SOON!
~Aspen
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