Friday, December 29, 2006

Still Sick

Well I gave daycare a whirl yesterday...we lasted there all of 30 mins. They called to let me know that Tatum had a fever and we needed to come pick her up, about 5 mins after I got to work. Lucky for me Chris took care f it so I could get some work in. Today is a different story, I guess it is his turn to go to work. As pleasant as Tatum is sick the lack of sleep is killing me. Right now it is 3:45 am and she is rolling around and talking like it is morning time....UGGGGGGG when is it going to end I need sleep!!!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

3 Man Band

Well today we have to take Tatum to the doctor in the morning, they want to check her out...Her fever is totally gone and has been since Sat. morning but the breathing is still bad. The nebulizer is a pain in the ass and unless Tatum is asleep she is not getting much out of it. Last night I did finally get Emma to sit long enough to do a treatment...I had to read the same book over like 5 times but I think that it was worth it, gee I wish Tatum would fall for that one.

Christmas was nice the girls got a ton of gifts, to my surprise Tatum is really enjoying this Hooke poke Elmo doll and this leapfrog animal doll thing. The Elmo is a funny little thing, we are thinking that tickle one may be good for her birthday and much easier to get by then. Emma enjoyed her new princess dress she wore it ALL day.We actually did not have a Bell dress so it was nice to add a new one in the mix. I love this picture of the girls "playing" together...too cute!!

The funniest part of the day came while we were at Angie and Joe's house for dinner. Tori, Emma's cousin, got a real electric guitar for Christmas. After dinner Emma and Tori found all the instrument's that were in the play room. Emma ended up with the girls old Barbie guitar while Tatum opted for a drum. I have to tell you this was the cutest band ever and Tatum was very amused. Lucky for us Emma got to bring the guitar home with her, she has already put her name on the back.

I'll be sure to update later after we see Dr. Desuza, I am hoping that she is well enough to go to daycare today but for some reason I am doubting it. Chris stayed home yesterday so I was able to get alot done but there is always more and missing a day at the end of the month is the pits.

UPDATE: Staying home with T today. Doc says she sounds so much better, keep up with the meds, and she'll see her next week...Daycare tomorrow for Miss Tatum :)

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Change in Plans...

Well this year we are staying put for the holidays...We have put the house on lock down...Miss Tatum has decided to make her first Christmas a memorable one by coming down with pneumonia...I know lots of fun and great timing... She actually is much better today then yesterday. Her breathing is still very loud and awful sounding and her cough is way to big to come from something so little but today there is no fever. We went to the Pediatrician this morning to have her pulse/ox checked...This should be 100 yesterday it was in the 80's...After two nebulizer treatments we got it up to 95. This morning it was 94, not great but not bad either.

Today has been a beautiful day, upper 60's I would think. I did get to sit outside a bit and watch Emma play while Chris and Tatum took a nap. Emma loves to chalk draw on the patio and play in her little house out in the little back yard we have. Today with the help of Nestor, Emma drew a Christmas Tree... I wish the weather would stay like this :)

Well then again maybe it would be better if it were not so nice out...then I would stay in and finish wraping gifts...Time to nebulize :)

Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry Christmas

Well we are headed to DE to visit my Mom and Dad for Christmas and then coming home on Christmas Eve to be home Christmas morning. This is actually the first Christmas I have spent at my own house, and I have owned a home since '01. I can not tell you how much we are looking forward to it.

I have decided not to worry about the Doctor thing and not to waste time writing a dumb letter to a Board of Medicine. I did send the nurses in the office a apology letter for being "That Mom"... If I had to guess these ladies have no idea that the Dr. gave us the boot using them as a major part of the lame excuse. Oh well Child Cardiology Associates is just not the practice for us and it not nearly the practice that I at one time thought it was...how disappointing...

I have a appointment with a Doctor from Hopkins on Jan. 4, hopefully this well work out for us.

I was thinking that Oprah may need another email...She would love to hear about these nutty doctors....

Happy Holidays Everyone.....

Thursday, December 21, 2006


Today we went to the Cardiologist; our appointment was scheduled for 11:30. This was the first time that Chris had meet Dr. Shapiro…boy was that interesting…

We fist had the echo done, Tatum was great for that. Then we waited in the exam room for the Dr. While waiting one of the office workers gave up a huge bag of gifts for Tatum. There were at least 5 packages, I asked if they did that for all the kids and the reply was not just some of the special ones.

The Dr. finally came in after reviewing the Echo and began his examination. He made no mention to the prior situation and seemed a bit cold. He did not even shake Chris’ hand when I introduced him. He told us that there had been no real change in Tatum’s heart and the heart was not getting any thicker so for now it is best to leave well enough alone. He told us to be seen again in 2m…after that he promptly told us that we should find a new practice… I wish I could have seen my face when he said that and I wish all of you could have seen Chris…He told us we should trust our doctors and since I do not trust them and have a problem with one of the doctors in the practice that it would be best if we left. Oh yeah and I am “unpleasant” to the nurses…OK that is true, whatever, I have a great relationship with the nurses!!!

During the visit I did ask Dr S if he thought I was wrong to move the surgery for Tatum’s Eyes. His reply was no…I would also want to be someplace more prepared. Ok so hmmmmm I was right!!!!! He made no excuse or apologies for Dr. Lindsay’s lack of follow up or advice in this situation but instead penalized me for going against one of their Dr.’s advice…. Weird eh…. talk about a serious god complex. Chris thinks that the relationship with the office fell apart the day they found out we were going to Philly. They did not feel a 2nd opinion was needed and therefore never sent her file to the cardiologist at CHOP.

Chris and I had discussed seeing a new practice but did not really want to switch because Dr. Telep was already familiar with her. He is the Dr. that has preformed her Cath’s. Maybe we can still have him Cath her when needed…who knows. I have a friend who has a daughter Emma’s age with heart disease. Ella has already had 3 open-heart surgeries, Poor girl, not to worry Ella is doing great!!! Anyway we are going to start seeing her Doctor, maybe a healthy change is what we need, I guess we’ll see since the decision was made for us by some arrogant Dr. I can not believe this man wasted two hours of our time to tell us this…Chris actually voiced it to them along with a bunch of other stuff…

I think I am going to be writing a letter to the State Medical Board…That should be fun…I think I am actually still in shock…I have never been fired by a Doctors office before.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Its Official

I think that today marks the first day that I can actually say Tatum can sit up...She can not get into this position alone but once in it she sit for what seems forever. Today she actually sat up and ate a cookie...she figured out a way to suck down all the cookie part so at the end all she had left were the chocolate chips...Granted it was all over her but I must say I was impressed. She was a bit messy after the cookie so I started the bath..She sat up the whole time while waiting for the tube. Once Emma could sit up we used one of those bath rings in the tub for her and this time around I can not seem to find them anywhere. Did they stop making them?

Friday night was the Kids Daycare Christmas show. This is truly one of those moments that make being a parent worth it. I think that Emma's class was the cutest one up there. The babies just sit there with there teachers the next group gets a bit cuter but there is nothing like a good group of three year old's. Emma's classmates have all been together since before they were 1,well maybe not all of them but a good core group. Being around them is a treat, the kids play off each other in such a way the pure joy just pours from all of them. This is a picture of Emma group signing "This Little Light of Mine". Tatum's class did "Rudolph the red nose reindeer". Although very cute not the best...LOL...Oh yeah I don't even want to get into the Santa...He was a really good santa, real whiskers and all. He sat all the kids down in a circle and told them all a story. Then called them up to sit on his lap and recieve a little gift, These kids were in Heaven. The Santa looked like something right out of Saturday Night Live...Chris thought he was drunk but who knows...

Today Chris and Emma went to Breakfast with Santa at Whiskey Creek Country Club. Nestor, Ronell and Nathan also went, I am counting on Ronell for some cute pictures. While they did this Tatum and I went to Church. Today was the Sunday School Christmas program, and very cute. Tatum loved all the music. I wish Emma was as good in Church as Tatum was today. After the service they had cookies and punch for everyone. I was enjoying someone awesome CC cookie when suddenly a little hand grabbed it from me. Tatum decided it was her cookie and proceeded to hold on to it for dear life. The church service is held in the middle school just down the street from my house. We could actually walk if we wanted or had the time so you can imagine how short the drive is. I was driving home from church hoping that Tatum would not choke on the cookie in the back seat while I was driving the two min. drive home while also knowing I was going to have a mess on my hands. I got home and took her pictures before I got her in the tub. I think this actually brings this post full circle... :)

MUST WRAP GIFTS....I hate this part

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Yeah For Blogger

Well I have done a bit of testing with the help of a friend and it appears that the comment glitch is fixed...Ok I can cross that off my list...

Friday, December 15, 2006

Beta Blogger Is For The Birds!!!!!

So I made the huge mistake of switching to Beta Blogger...Once I started it was to late to quit, oops...anyway I have email Blogger help and hopefully soon you should be able to leave comments again...I have no idea right now why it is only excepting anonymous comments... While looking at the blogger customer support topics I have noticed that I am not the only person having these issues so hopefully it well be fixed soon...I miss hearing from all my Moms :(

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Pretty Lights...

Before reading this take into consideration that I grew up with white lights only and not many if any lights outside. I do remember a few years when Julie and I actually got colored lights on the tree but only because we had two trees...LOL This is the first year that we have ever put up lights, we have bought them a million times and just never put them up. I think it is different now because Emma is all about lights. What I really wanted was a snow globe blow up thing but there over $100, I did not want it that bad. We are just going to have to enjoy our neighbor on the corners house...They have Santa on a motorcycle, very cute.

I think living here you have to get into lights, I have really never seen anything like it. One house even has its own radio station... I am pretty sure as long as we live in this house we are going to have Christmas lights... I am taking bets as to when, if ever, Chris takes those lights down... :) He put them pretty high up.

We did get out tonight so I could show Em some of the lights. Lucky for me Emma liked the white lights better then the colored but she liked lots... way more then we have...and I actually thought I was outdoing myself...LOL

WOW this is the radio station house puts a entire new spin on gawdy eh. I bet there electric bill is sick. Once we got home from checking out the lights a Fire Engine drove by the house and guess who was on board...? Santa Clause, boy was Emma excited since we missed him at breakfast the other day...long story, basically we were late. Anyway Santa came up to the door and gave Emma a candy cane and let me snap a quick picture. I really do have to get her to the mall to see Santa...this has been a very cyber Christmas, to bad there is no cyber Santa for her to visit...HAHA

Although we missed seeing Santa on Sat. the breakfast was still very fun and we had a nice time visiting with friends. My opinion may be a bit tainted but I think the girls looked absolutely adorable...I can not figure out who talks more. I think Chris and I are doomed.

Monday, December 11, 2006

It's going around

Today I took Tatum and Emma to Tatum's eye apt. Her Dr. said she had a email a colleage of hers from Childrens in DC to Tatum's eye surgery. We are planning on this to be in January but no set date yet. Also the patch did its job and she does not have to wear it anymore. That is a good thing since she now takes it off herself about 20 mins. in.

After the apt was over I dropped the girls off and got to wk about 10. As soon as I arrived I got a message that the Dr. Lyndsay( Cardiology) had faxed the realese for Tatums surgery...Funny it was only a week late, and I no longer need it. When I returned the phone call to the nurse I cancelled my furture apt. with Dr. Lyndsay and made a new one with Dr. Shaperio. I am pretty pleased with my new change. I just do not think that Dr. L is the best match for us.

I only lasted at work untill 1:30, daycare called, aparently Tatum has the bug that is going around. She has had lots of poo and throw up...gross. I picked up both girls and headed home, gosh I sure do hope this is a 24 hour thing and Emma does not get it. Tatum actually seems to be bettter now hopefully that is a good sign.

Oh well now I am home, I guess tha is not all bad I am pretty tired from The football game yesterday. Chris and I went to the Redskins/Eagles game....What a great battle for the basement, LOL, atleast my team won!!! GO EAGLES...LOL It really was a great day for a football game, great seats and awesome weather.

Bettter run Tatum is pulling all the wipes out of the package...funny girl.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Kepping those Crossed Eyes

Today I decided that Tatum is not having eye surgery, at least not on Tuesday. The hospital that the surgery was scheduled is really not the best facility for Tatum. Although it is a fine hospital they are missing one very important thing that Tatum needs in case of emergency...A bypass machine. Without this they can not do open heart surgery in the event of a emergence. If something were to happen to Tatum during this procedure I would never forgive myself.....SO we wait.

I am a bit annoyed with my Cardiologist, she was not the best advocate for my baby...I can not figure her out she is super nice but nice is not always the answer. I am on the fence about finding a new practice...can you say confusion!!! Dr. Desuza ( Tatum and Emma's pediatrician) suggested maybe John Hopkins if I was interested, we'll see. Right now I know only one thing, I am sleeping much better tonight knowing that this eye surgery is postponed. Besides those eyes are adorable!!!

I just want to get through Christmas without medical worries...Tomorrow morning is our annual breakfast with Santa...I can not wait, I wonder what the girls are gonna think of the big guy in the red suit. I am betting that it is pretty interesting :)


Tatum is starting to babble and babble more everyday. She is making new strides by leaps and bounds, we are having so much fun watching her. The thing that kills me the most is I am starting to realize that Emma is not the only daddy's girl in the house. Yep you guessed it, Tatum too.

She just smiles the minute her Daddy looks at her and to top it all off this morning she looked at him and just started babbling "ahhhh Dadadadadad" now I know this is just babble but to him she said Dada lol... Men, to think they always want boys. I think that Chris would be lost without his girls.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Good Morning!!!

I ran into my friend Erika while dropping the girls off this morning and she informed me that I was a slacker and I am not blogging enough. So sorry everyone it has gotten a bit harder to blog lately with Christmas and a very mobile Tatum.

That little girl is all over the place she almost has mastered sitting and she has no problem getting from point a to point b by rolling…it is very cute. She is also verbalizing a lot more…my baby is getting big she is going to be all about eating wrapping paper at Christmas. It is her new favorite dish; funny I do not remember Emma eating paper like this one does.

I do have one great thing to report. Tatum slept all night!!!!! She usually gets up around 5 has a bottle and goes back to be till her morning number 2 (around 7) this morning she slept right through until she could sit in the diaper no longer…It was great and we actually got to work closer to on-time.

So who knows it could have just been a fluke but I’ll take it. She is such a good baby although she gave me a good run for my money for a while she is recently coming into her own. Now if we could just fix that little ticker. :)

Still a bit stressed about Tuesday but planning to call anesthesia again today to touch base. I should also be able to post a picture of the Christmas decorations this weekend, we still have a work in progress...The boss(Emma) says we need more lights...that girl, what are we going to do with her :)

This picture is one of the photo's we had taken at my sisters house. As my Mom calls it a generation picture. Julie and I with our girls and My Mom and Nana (Mom's Mom). I thought it turned out pretty good :)

Monday, December 04, 2006

End of The Road

Well there was fun all around to be found while we were in NY. The wedding was amazing and our friends all looked great. Fran made such a beautiful bride. We stayed with my friend Karen's (college Roomie) parents in NJ. Karen had a baby about 2.5m ago so I got to meet her and Ralph's beautiful little girl, she is a great baby. We all had so much fun. It truly was a beautiful wedding but expected nothing less from Fran :) This was the last in our little wedding series that we had going on this past fall/winter and I can honestly say we went out with a bang. I can not remember the last time I laughed so hard, we really need to spend more time with Karen and Ralph, they are great!

Tonight we are planning to decorate the Christmas tree that Emma and Chris bought last night, I am looking forward to it. We also have some decorations to put outside...I have no clue how this is going to turn out but I'll keep my fingers crossed... I have never done lights outside before, I usually make fun. How bad am I...well I am going all out and this year I am throwing the tacky word out the window and doing it up. Look out neighbors :)

Thursday, November 30, 2006

9m Well Check Up

Tatum had her 9m well visit today...all is well she got a few shots as well as the synergy (SP)shot. That shot is the first in a series of 4 that are given over the next 4m.

Chris took Tatum this morning so I do not really have any details other then blood work has to be done (routine) and she is tipping the scales at 17.3...Maybe she'll hit 20 by her birthday so she can face forward in the car. I hope so that little task right there makes life so much easier.

My Mom and Brent are coming to watch the girls this weekend, Chris and I have a wedding to attend in NYC. This is the last of the crazy wedding burst we just had, thanks goodness. It should be pretty fun to get away and not think about anything. It is also going to be nice to get some uninterrupted sleep, LOL. It seem every time I leave the house these days it is way more trouble then it is worth...between packing for everyone and usually forgetting something. I do not have to pack for the girls this time but I do have to get everything in order for my Mom....

Well you all have a great weekend, hopefully I'll have some nice NY pics to post on Monday... There is nothing like the city all decorated for the Holidays

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

reality check

I read email last night before I went to bed, what I found certainly did not give me sweet dreams instead I wanted to throw up, I get that feeling still today when I think about it. A little boy from the WS email list went in two weeks ago for a cardio cath. The doctors wanted a better look at his aorta, it seems to have gotten smaller. Shortly after the start of the procedure his blood pressure dropped out, his heart stopped he was stabilized with the help of life support. The doctors decided to open him up and fix the aorta, although he breezed through that part, Gage's poor little heart stopped two more times. Sometime in the midst of everything he had a stroke, like all that other stuff was not enough. I cried when I replied back to Jessica ( Gage's Mom) via email. The weirdest thing was that I was telling Chris about Gage on Sat. night . . . We were watching some car show on the speed channel and Jay Leno was talking to a man named Gage . . .

I cannot imagine Gage or any one of these other babies I have gotten to know in this situation. When we left the hospital after Tatum was born I figured that was it no more hospitals. As I learned we would have more hospitals I figured it would never get that bad again. So far we have been lucky . . . those few tubes and wires used for the cath is nothing compared to what I have seen Tatum hooked up to, I know many other parents have been there too. It is something you just don't wish on anyone . . .

As we get ready for Tatum's eye surgery, I am sure I'll be very relaxed . . . as if we were not torn about it to begin with . . . yeah right . . . I am doing my best not to think about it. It is something that needs to be done and now is as good of time as any.

Tatum has some unique heart problems. Most of her vessels are smaller but the main issues seem to be the stenosis of her entire descending aorta . . . The stenosis in the branch pulmonary arteries are not so good either but they at least started growing. The cardiologist from CHOP pretty much agreed with the current care that Tatum is receiving. He phrased his input a bit differently so it would seem different but smoke and screens . . . I am onto it and over it. Bottom line is Tatum's aorta has to grow. Until then there is nothing they can do but monitor by echo and caths intervening when necessary.

I have decided that while we wait for growth I am taking this unique heart problem on the road . . . Dr. Mervis has helped put me in contact with Dr.Morris. I have shared with her Tatum’s heart records in hopes that she may have seen her heart problems before or know a doctor that has. Dr. Morris has been researching and working with WS for many many years.

Gosh I have been so busy I forgot how nice it is to just sit down and type...Kind of sorts everything out...Hope everyone has a good Wed.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

On the Go...

I think between Chris and Emma I am ready to take Tatum and run for the hills...or at least work. I have washed a ton of clothes and watched Cinderella about 400 times and played with ever string of beads in our house with Tatum. You would think after a extra long weekend the return to work would be well rested, yeah right...those days are so over :)

Today I took the girls to Julies house so we could try and get family pictures...Of coarse Chris was sick so we were down one, I guess we can always say he was taking the picture. Molly and Tatum were so cute I think we go some good pictures of them together...I know that the photographer’s are way better then mine...To bad Emma would not participate...”I Tired” was her excuse, it was very frustrating...Can I interest anyone in a three year old....

Wow tomorrow is Monday back to the grind...Fun fun and this month we are going to throw Christmas gifts, cards and post-office into the mix with kids and work. Whoa, I bet it flies by...thank god for on-line shopping, I have actually gotten alot done so far. :)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

36 Days Till Christmas

Last night Chris and I went to a wedding, the bride and groom were also Lisa and Chris, pretty crazy eh... Needless to say we had a very good time. Lisa was a beautiful bride and the wedding was very nice. It was a bit weird because I meet someone for the first time that reads my blog. It was funny, she told me how she enjoys reading it. I think it is a bit strange to have people know me that I do not know but lucky for me she was super nice. :) I am sure lots of people I do not know read it, that's fine it was just funny to meet someone:)

Today I went to Target with the girls and Autumn...I swear we were there two hours...I had to get a little Christmas tree for the family room. Ever since we got back from Disney World I have had the Christmas bug, they had so many beautiful decorations already up. Now with the help of Autumn I too have a ton of decorations up. All I have left to do is put up the big tree. We have to wait a bit longer for this since Chris insists that is real... What a pain!!!

Another thing I finally got for Tatum today was a bed tray. Tatums OT lady had suggested putting something in front of her Bumbo as a table for her to play on. It actually worked great she really seemed to like her toys up there. I should have gotten it for her sooner but she has just recently showed interest in being in that Bumbo for more then 2 seconds...

Another thing I did today was search Ebay for the Kid-Touch digital camera from fisher price. This thing is sold out everywhere....It is a must have as far as Emma is concerned...and believe me she needs her own camera, maybe then she'll lay off mine. Crazy girl :)

Oops forgot to mention Em only had a 12 hour bug she woke up fine Sat. morning but we kept her home from dance anyway...On thursday I took Tate to the eye doctor and they patched her. She is to be patched 1 hour a day on her right eye until her surgery 12-12...TO CUTE :)

Friday, November 17, 2006

Day Care Dinner

Ok... Sorry about the wordy poem in my last post....Kinda long but nice :)

Today we had Thanksgiving Dinner at the girls school... Chris meet me there so we could all have dinner. I made a plate for Emma and sat her down. After sitting only a second she said her tummy hurt, I passed Tatum to Yvonne and Erika and Em and I headed for the bathroom. Short trip only pee... Emma sat back down ate with her friends and then went to watch Nemo...

Chris and I were talking about leaving right after desert, I offered Emma cake and she said no...I thought wow maybe she is sick... Not two mins. later Emma came over to Chris and I to tell me again her tummy hurt...

She looked a little flush ( but she had been playing) Yvonne was saying she looks like she is going to hurl..the word hurl was out of Yvonne's mouth for a second, yep you guessed it
.... her dinner and red Capri Sun all over Chris...I am laughing now but at that time it really was not that funny...(but sorta, sorry Chris)

We wasted no time jumping into clean up mode. Kay took Tatum, Erika took Emma and Yvonne and I tried to help Chris...All this while rounding up gear and kids to get out of there...I think looking back now it was a day care dinner to go down history.

I am so glad we had two cars because Chris smelled terrible. OHHHH I have a feeling it is going to be a long night.... Miss D told me a few others have been sent home with this bug so beware... I sure hope the flu shot I got today kicks in fast. LOL

Being a Mom

A good friend passed this along to me today...It is really great and true.
Although many of us are not at this stage in life yet it is happening everyday. I fell like I woke up one morning and Emma was a big girl. She wants zero help...This someday is going to be Tatum too. I am not letting the WS put our life on hold as nothing should. I am sure our parents are going to really relate to this poem now just like we slowly are...I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Thanks for sharing Heather I thank God all the time our kids are going to grow up together, just think soon enough we are going to sharing cocktails on the beach watching the kids play wondering where our babies went...

On Being Mom
by Anna Quindlen

If not for the photographs, I might have a hard time believing they
ever existed. The pensive infant with the swipe of dark bangs and the
blackbutton eyes of a Raggedy Andy doll. The placid baby with the
yellow ringlets and the high piping voice. The sturdy toddler with the
lower lip that curled into an apostrophe above her chin. ALL MY BABIES
are gone now.

I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction
in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one
closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have
learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of
them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke
and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to
keep their doors closed more than I like.

Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move
food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I
bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is
buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the
unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now.
Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling
rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education,
all grown obsolete.

Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are
battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the
pages dust would rise like memories.

What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the
playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations --what they
taught me was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.
Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then
becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it
is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to
positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice
and a timeout. One boy is toilet trained at 3, his brother at 2.

When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on
his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit- up. By the time
my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of
research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this
ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing.

Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research
will follow.

I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful
books on child development, in which he describes three different
sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a
sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month-old who did not walk. Was there
something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong
with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically
challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he
goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk,too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes
were made. They have all been enshrined in the Remember-When-Mom-Did
Hall of Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language,
mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I
arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The
horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of
the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, What
did you get wrong? (She insisted I include that.) The time I ordered
food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away
without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include
that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two

What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while
doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly
clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There
is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in
the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I
wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how
they sounded, andhow they looked when they slept that night. I wish I
had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner,
bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and
the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and
what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought
someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now
I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they
demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be.

The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and
I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound
up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more
than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That's what the books
never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts.

It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were...

Thursday, November 16, 2006


So Who knows if you'll ever hear Chris' take on our trip, honestly it is probley better that way...LOL He has a laundry list of things that have to been done to his car before he is ever going to find thetime to post...

This morning is going to be just great, rain, car accident, traffic and all this before 7am, makes you really want to get out of bed. I have to still get the girls dressed and packed for Miss D's and "pre clean" for Elsa. Actually screw Elsa, she can clear around my clutter today it's not like she does a great job anyway.

You would think if you were paying someone to clean everyweek your house would be spotless. She has somehow missed the pacafire that has been under the living room couch for a month now ( I am moving it after this week) also our pet dust bunny is still living under the lounge in the living room. All this after I left a specific note for the furnature to be moved and the floor to be cleaned under...I guess my family is not the only one who blocks out my voice, or notes. I am in a tough spot I can not fire her I need her and it is not like she is my first cleaning lady they all suck after the third visit. I hate confortation but I think that I am going to have to have a conversation with her about it...any suggestions?

I have to take Tatum to the eye Dr. during my lunch today for measurements, her surgery is creeping up on us. I think it is going to be weird to see her eyes "fixed" there is nothing cutier then a crossed eye baby... except maybe a sleeping crossed eyed baby...lol

OK let me run and start my day...I have procrastinated long enough....Atleast tomorrow is Friday.

Oh yeah Dancing with the Stars anyone??? Way to go Emit!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

What 's so funny?

I just have to share this picture...Alex and Emma took it upon themself to get there photo's taken on the boat...As you can see they were a hit!!!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Not always a Breeze

Ok so I know I told you all I had a awesome time, and I did but traveling with two little kids and Chris is not always a dream come true. First of all I have to keep Emma and Chris feed at all times or the melt downs feed off each other...That was what happened ahhh most of the time, until we got on the boat that is. We did manage to have some fun but I had to put up with egg shell and egg shell jr while having it.

Chris has decided that we are not going anyplace else until we can travel formula free. I can not blame him it was not so easy, we actually had to have boiled water brought to our cabin on the ship to clean Tatums bottles...apparently the water is not better in the Bahamas...but back to my point... when that day comes I can promise you all that United/TED airlines well not be taking us there...That airline is full of wacks that have no clue what is going on, and I thought Southwest was bad. At least at SW you get what you pay for, you do not really expect more then a greyhound in the sky.

On the way home those dopes changed our flight leaving us on a late flight with not enough bottles...I could have had extra formula with me but HL security was not on my side.... Long story short Chris and Tatum got on a 2pm flight stand by and Emma and I came home on that 350 Flight. Funny our original flight booked in Feb was for 11:40am, I guess they cancelled it then changed there mind because it was there we just weren't on it. Anyway note to self, steer clear of TED...

I think the best melt down came from Emma while having Dinner at Cinderella's Round Table...She cried over not having her princess dress on, cheese, dinner, and everything else under the sun. This did wonders for Chris' already tired mood, lucky for me Tatum was being super cute. You should see the complimentary picture with Cinderella that came with our Dinner. Emma looks miserable and Tatum is looking at the floor. As we got ready to leave the restaurant my little Gemini's better half came out and stayed until she feel asleep. We were actually just going to bag the Magic Kingdom but lucky she pulled it together and we could hit a few rides...the Haunted Mansion ( still the same with the room that stretches LOL) Dumbo , Merry Go Round and yes we went through Small World. Tatum was funny during that one just looking all over the place. Chris and I always get a kick out of Small World, they still have the surfer dude in the Hawaii section.

After the last ride we headed toward Main Street for the firework show... If you have not seen fireworks at Disney I totally recommend it. They are fantastic best I have ever seen. I was worried about what Tatums reaction to the fire workes would be, not only because of the WS but Emma always hated them. Tatum surprised us all by just hanging out strapped to me and watching...she is a really good baby, I must say.

The boat was a great time but not so relaxing...We were go go go the entire time...Not so much the dream vacation for Chris...he says he wants a good three days of nothing but sleep before he is ready for vacation. When went to the beach BT (before Tate) he could get that but I hate to tell him that those days are over LOL. I was the one that got up and walked the boat with her every morning.

It is going to be interested to hear Chris' take on the vacation as a whole, I am sure we are due for post number 2 any time now...LOL

It's Better In The Bahamas

So I can sum the vacation up in one word AWESOME! We really had a good time, I am sure we are going back but once Tatum is a bit older…I am thinking 6 and 4. It is defiantly worth the money but as you all know Disney does nothing half assed. The hardest part was back to work on Monday…

Emma and Tatum were both Champs on the airplane, Tatum was actually better then Emma but we made it there and back with no problems, at least none from our kids. Homeland security is a totally different story; I think that they have gone off the deep end. One the way home we actually watched them trash some poor little girls Disney snow globe. Funny the tossed out my sun block but didn’t touch the lighter that was in my purse. I am starting to wonder if it is just as easy to drive.

The weather was great we meet all the Princesses and Mickey. Also got to swim shop and all got our hair braided…I think it is a moral sin to go to the Bahamas and not get braids LOL. While in Nassau we checked out the aquarium at the Atlantis and hung on the beach. Emma totally wanted to ride the wave runners. Chris shot that idea down real quick; I was not surprised.

Disney’s private Island, Cast Away Cay, was better the Nassau I could have stayed there the entire weekend it was a blast. Can you tell I am excited I guess I could just go on and on. It is nice to be home, I have some major catching up to do on the Blogs and work so I’ll have to tell you all more later. I have great stories and a ton more pictures.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Nervous excitement

I am so ready for a vacation...I think that I just need space and time away. I have to finish up packing tonight and get the house ready for Elsa ( cleaning lady) she is coming while we are gone. Atleast I get to come home to a clean house, always a nice thing.

I am a bit nervous about at forgetting something or having a sick kid. This is really our first big outing with two kids .Sure, we have been to the beach for a week but always rented a house. A few years ago we went to Disney for a few days but stayed with friends, this is our first extended stay together in a hotel/cabin. At least we only have one mini person that is moving, though she is as busy as three kids.

I can not wait to lay in the sun and play with he kids on the beach and in the pool. I also can not wait to send them to the "Oceaneers Club" for Emma and Nemo's nursery or whatever it was called for Tatum...Now that is vacation :)

The traffic report is looking bleak already so I better get moving I have a busy day. Work, kids, packing, cleaning and off to the airport crack ass of dawn...Look out Mickey here we come!!!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Bon Voyage

This has been a bit of a crazy week. I made a big decision this week to eliminate a huge work stress from my life. I have been working directly with this person for the last three years and on Wed I told my boss I could not longer do it. With all Tatum’s extra appointments and stress I just do not have it in me anymore for added stress and that was about all I was getting out of this work relationship.

I feel like I got divorced or something, we had been together a while. When the communication stops and one or both of you are not willing to take blame for any of the problems, it’s time to let go. It is kind a weird now part of me is sad and the rest is doing cartwheels. I must say I do have the most amazing boss because she knows me well enough to agree it was time and took action right away. I may actually be able to hold it together after all.

I am starting to really look forward to vacation, I would imagine that this is going to be the last one for a while…then again I always say that… LOL

We are going to go out with a bang. Dinner with Cinderella on Wed. Evening at her palace of Course then Thursday morning we are off to board the big boat. We are going to spend a day at the Atlantis in Nassau then a day in the sun on a private Disney Island. For the evenings we have Tate signed up for Nemo club or whatever it is that they call the nursery and Miss Emma is a new member of the castaway club. WE may never make it to the adult only pool but I have a feeling we’ll have a good time. Yvonne’s family is going with us too.

One of the best things in the worlds is seeing Emma (or any kid) at Disney World. I cannot wait this time because she is old enough to love it.

I’ll try and Post again before we leave Wed morning but not sure if I am going to get the chance I have a tin top do in order to prepare.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Trick or Treat

Halloween is the best...I have always thought that...What amazed me tonight was for the first time I actually experience it from a "grown up" perspective. I can not believe how much fun Emma had with it! What a truly wonderful night...

Yvonne and Steve brought the girls up to trick or treat around 6:30. Yvonne and I took Emma and Alex out alone for a bit and when our cocktails ran out we headed home for the switch. The girls then including Bre;) went out with their Dads while Yvonne, Tatum and I gave out candy. The customes that kids wear these days are just to much. We saw everything from gangsters to the IRS. It did get a little chilly while giving out candy so Tatum went from Tinkerbell to bumble bee...She was a hit in both outfits :) I think that I was the scary one...LOL

Ashley and Rico ( little Leon), they go to daycare with the girls and live down the St., stopped by with their parents(big Leon and Nikki) just as Steve and Chris were bringing the girls back so we got to get a somewhat group picture. I had a really fun evening, I can not wait for next year.

Family Photo's

Remember the pics we had done on vacation....I have a little peak for you all :)

Monday, October 30, 2006

Mixed Emotions

I do not feel like talking about CHOP sorry... All I have to say on it is... Kati, Szabi's hands are a characteristic of WS, Tatum has the same little fat hands...so cute .I though about you the sec that Dr. Kaplan told us that :)

Tonight was not one of my easier, Tree's post was the straw that broke it...I loved the post but I think it just hit home and I was already dancing on the edge. Sometimes you just need a good cry. LOL
Not one Dr. returned my phone calls today, I have a ton of work to do, I just missed work last week and next week we leave Wed for vacation, and on and on...oh yeah Dr. appointments an such too...I have decided that I am pissed about it all. I did not sign up to be a researcher, advocate, along with my other jobs. I learned that I am the one who is going to know the most...YUCK, I already know way more then I EVER wanted to .OK ok I am done whining...

Oh yeah I am pretty excited about vacation it has only been planned for over a year :)

Friday, October 27, 2006

CHOP # 1

Well I am not so sure I know where to start, we received a wealth of information in a little bit of time. I learned some good stuff there the most important one being it goes not matter where you live and who you see unless you your see a specialist or you are lucky enough to live near a specialist for primary care, get ready to study.

I thought my cardiologist were terrific and do not get me wrong I still do but the things that Dr, Rome was telling us about Tatu’s heart condition were scary as well as informative. He wanted to do a echo ( Tate laid still for a good hour for the Echo Tech, we were all so impressed) and try to get disc’s of the two prior caths before he could give us his full opinion. We are waiting to conclude to with him over the phone. All our Cardio office sent was the report from the cath in June...LOL I am overjoyed with the sharing of information between Dr.’s offices.

This brings me to the next big thing that I just learned...I am going to copy Tatum’s file and from now on there is not going to be a report written that I do not receive a copy of. If I have to pay extra for discs of her past and future caths and MRI’s then I’ll be doing that as well. I do have some stuff in a file at home but I want everything. This way you can go see whatever doctor you want and noone has to know or be bothered with getting your child’s record. When dealing with my kids there is no room for admin errors so I’ll be doing it myself...hehe

Our OT and PT are awesome...you were right on track with eveything CHOP told us. They actually said to keep listening to you all and we are doing great. Tatu showed off all her baby moves to everyone that would smile at her.

more later...

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

It's Official

After a zillion phone conversations with all the wrong people Dr. Desuza, the best doctor in the world, spoke to a doctor at care first and the Williams's clinic has been approved. I know We are cutting it a bit close since we leave tomorrow after work to head up there, but who cares the important thing is we are going.

I actually have no clue where to go or anything once we are there because not a piece of information has been sent to me but we’ll see... so far if I was asked to rate this entire process I would have to give it a -6. That’s right a negative number...we can hope that there medical ability is much better then there admin skills. They leave a lot to be desired in that area, LOL...

I'll check it out and give you all a full report this weekend:)

Beautiful Baptism

This weekend was a really good one. The weather was beautiful, a bit cold be great. Saturday was our regular Sat. I took Emma to dance and ran around with Yvonne getting stuff ready for Tatum’s party on Sunday. After dance class we ran around some more then went home. Yvonne came over with the kids on Sat. night to help me get everything set up for the morning and I must say before we went to bed the house looked great.

Sunday started out good with the exception of one over tired three year old. We finally made it to church, that is a good thing since it was Tatum’s day. The baptism itself was great I really like the church that we have been going to and I think that Pastor is great. Tatum must agree because when he picked her up she flashed him the biggest smile ever. I am so thankful that she is a happy baby. The photo is of Tatum and her godparents, Angie( Chris' sister) and Joe( brother in law).

After church everyone came to our house for lunch and a open house type thing. The food was great( thanks Yvonne) and everyone was having a good time. I do not think that the last people left until 8. I am always amazed how I am able to pack so many people in my house without it being over crowded whenever we have parties. I know one reason is our group of friends the kids way out number the adults. This is a good thing in most cases because I do not think that I saw Tatum all day. It is much easier to entertain without a baby on your hip.

Tatum actually does really well so far in big groups, I am surprised that it does no seem to bother her at all. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this does not change since I really do like to entertain. I am thinking about doing a super bowl party for her 1st birthday...LOL

Anyway it was a beautiful day ceremony and party for Tatum. Thank you so much to everyone who enjoyed the day with us. You are all such a special part of our lives. Those of you that could not make it thanks for all the kind wishes, we love you all too. :)

One more thing....Nothing from Oprah yet and we are still not sure what is going on with CHOP. I have 24 hours to canceled so I am hoping to know something today. How frustrating this has been...

Friday, October 20, 2006

Oprah- We want your ideas

My daughter Tatum was born 2-10-06 with congenital heart disease. After this was discovered the hospital did genitetic testing and it was discovered that she has something called Williams Syndrome. She was DX by a positive fish test at 6 weeks.
Williams is a rare genetic condition (estimated to occur in 1/7,500 births), which causes medical and developmental problems. It was first recognized as a distinct entity in 1961. It is present at birth, and affects males and females equally.
As a new young mother this has been very hard. I have found support from other mom’s in the same situation that I have meet online. We all have blogs that make it easy for us to stay on top of each other daily lives and trials with our children. This is the link to my Blog… www.emmaandtatum.blogspot.com
The insurance companies have been an entire different racquet. I am only trying to get the best for my baby. I was recently denied a request to take my baby to the WS clinic at CHOP (children’s Philly). This was a request sent to Care First by my daughter’s pediatrician. I feel that insurance is a scam. We pay 800 a month for family coverage and until Tatum was born no one was ever really sick. When we need them now they are not here for us. How can Care First possible call themselves one of the best in the country? I feel that this has to stop at some point. Being a middle class family there is nothing I can do for my baby without insurance, we cannot afford these appointments out of pocket and my family income is to high for Tatum to qualify for medicade or social security.
What is it going to take for this nonsense to stop, is it ever going to be a equal playing field for all sick children? I am not sure if there is anything you all can do to help but figured it was worth a try.
I think awareness of this syndrome and our countries poor over priced heath care is a huge issue especially with the elections around the corner
When it is time for Tatum to have her heart surgery is the claim to have this done by the best going to be denied because it is "out of network" I bet it would be a non issue for the suits children that are making these poor decisions. So is what is good for the goose really good for the gander?

So maybe I am a bit nuts but this is what I sent to the Oprah producers…LOL

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Eye see You

I picked Tatum up this afternoon for her eye Dr. apt; it was a nice and short visit. They are planning on doing surgery to correct the Esotropia (a type of strabismus) on Dec. 12. I am pretty impressed with my big medical words but all it means is crossed eyed LOL.

Tomorrow we have a 9am apt with the cardiologist and then the weekend. What a full week. I am currently playing phone tag with her pediatrician about the super pooper that we still have on our hands….Kinda gross I think I am going to have to collect poo for testing. YUCK…That was not in the motherhood manual, then again neither was WS. LOL

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Such a Bad Friend

I feel so bad and have been thinking about this all week. Although I did tell this person I am sorry I still feel crummy. I totally spaced a wedding shower this past weekend. My friend Lisa is getting married in November and her shower was over the weekend and I have no excuse other then brain fart…

Lisa I am so sorry you are a great friend and I am a HUGE slacker!!!! So sorry…Good Luck with your marathon next weekend, I know you are going to do great.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Renaissance Festival

This was Chris' first year to go with me to the Renaissance Festival. He actually thought it was pretty fun. It is so funny to see some of the patrons dressed head to toe in Midevil garb. I think that is the most boobs you see in one place and really it is not all that pretty LOL...Anyway all in all it is a very fun but long day. Face paining, tons of food and entertainment it is way easy to loose the day there.

Tatum was a huge hit everyone just thought she was soooo cute. We were being stoped all over the place by random people, some even wanted to take her picture. Steve, Yvonne's husband, comment to that was better check the blogs tomorrow she may be on someone differents... LOL. Blog envy HA-HA. One lady did ask me if she was three months old, HA all I could think was oh gosh it is starting...I just laughed and said no she is 8m just a peanut.

It was a beautiful day to be outside and we all had a really great time. I think it is going to be much easier to get Chris to come along in the furture now that he nows how fun it is, and the beer is pretty good too. :) I think Tatum even liked it, or atleast holding the mug LOL.

It is so nice to know that the four of us can always no matter what have a nice time together, and our friends that went were pretty fun too. Till next yr...