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"BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECASUE THOSE WHO MIND DON'T MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DON'T MIND."

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Please don't feel sorry for me...:)

I was told yesterday by someone that they feel sorry for people with disabled children. I know this was not meant how it came out, and the person talking was being very sincere, but,whatever, it still made me think.... I have felt sorry for myself before sure but not in a very long time, at least not about Tatum, LOL. It really did not strike me, until yesterday afternoon, that I would fit into such a general classification...I am "people with disabled children" funny...

I certainly do not want people looking at me for the rest of my life and feeling sorry for me ,Tatum or our family's situation for that matter. Sure it is not my first choice to have a child with problems on top of problems but it is the hand I was dealt. I believe that this happened to me because I ( with Chris) can handle it without feeling sorry for myself or having people feel sorry for me. I have my bad days about all Tatum's issues and I sometimes I find myself having a good cry...but It is what it is, and to us now it is just life. I guess you adjust or you give in...

I can not even imagine life any other way at this point, but I'd most likely take it if the opportunity presents itself. I guess what I am trying to say is that there are so many less fortunate people then myself to feel sorry for, I am simply living my life the best I can with the cards I have, that is how I am bringing up Emma and Tatum as well. You just have to roll with what you have and make the best of it...Life is way to short for unhappiness or just settling. Tatum is not sick just different but we are all different,right?...Well and a little sick but we are just going to take that as it comes :)

Life is supposed to be fun not spent mourning over what we can not control.......

WOOO HOOO It is 9:30 both kids are asleep Dick and Danielle are in the BB8 final and I posted twice today...We are just rocking going into friday :)

11 comments:

Julie said...

We have been pretty lucky, none of our friends or family have acted like they feel bad for us. I am sure there are times that they do. One of my friends was talking about one of the baggers at our local grocery store. I think that alot of them are delayed in some way. She said this bagger wanted to give her 3 year old a kiss, she said do you know which one I mean, I think she is a little slow. Then she felt bad and stumbled over her words. I felt worse for her than myself. I do not want our friends being careful what they say, that puts a huge strain on a friendship. I said,we all have said the wrong thing, get over it.

Lisa R said...

exactly I am not worried about someone saything that to me, and there was nothing to even get over... I guess I just never really thought about someone really feeling sorry for me....Kinda weird ya know :)People are just funny, such is life

Every minute counts.... said...

It is weird to hear people say they feel sorry for you. Although there are people that I feel sorry for because they don't "stop and smeel the roses" they are so focused on stuff and not on their own children. They take for granted that they have a gift in those kids....those are the same people who feel "sorry" for me. I appreciate the fact that Abi has turned our focus back to our kids...sometimes we all get caught up in everything else but she is always there to refocus our lives. She is a blessing even with all the nt so great stuff we have to deal with...it really could be worse. At minimum I know she loves me, she smiles and tells me that daily.She has started telling us " your my life" and giving us kisses...I have no idea where she came up with that but boy does it make you think!

Noel

Heather said...

I don't want peole feeling sorry for us, but a little understanding and compassion in the world can't be a bad thing.

Tara said...

I agree with Heather - more understanding...especially when I'm in walmart and Payton is upset because of the person talking over the speakers hurting her ears :) But, I agree with you Lisa - I think we adjust to this new life. At first it was tough, but now it just seems to be normal. I wouldn't trade Payton for the world - she can light up world in a second with that big smile!!! Thanks for your post :)

Amy said...

It's funny because we are one of those families, all of us, and WE don't necessarily feel "different." We get up everyday and put on our pants on one leg at a time like everyone else. The only really big difference is that we might have a bit more on our plates to do and to emotionally deal with, but nothing that deserves pity. Maybe a little support and understanding, but not pity. I actually sometimes feel pity for people who are living such "normal" lives and cannot experience the very specialness our children bring to life. So between the bitching and moaning I do about being so tired, yeah, I do feel blessed.
XOXO
Amy

Amy said...

P.S., it is weird to think someone feels sorry for you having Tatum because Tatum is awesome. Doesn't make sense to me(:

Nancy said...

Today I suddenly found myself thinking of all of the good things that come with Erik (besides Erik himself). There is a big list of pluses to being his mother. There are definitely perks!

He is a special kid, and I consider myself very lucky in a lot of ways, even though the circumstances bite the big one sometimes and I wouldn't have signed up to be a special needs mom voluntarily. He has really taught me a lot of lessons about life that I would probably never have learned had he been born with all of of his genes.

Yes, there will always be bad days but I can see that I'm one lucky momma. And it's clear to see you feel the same way!

Katie said...

I feel sorry for parents of kids having medical problems -
Not sorry they have the kids,
just sad that they are placed in horrible and frightening situations.
I think this is coming out wrong, i guess what i mean is i am sorry you have to go through frightening things with Tate's heart but i dont 'feel sorry for you' generally because Tate has WS...
I think what im trying to say is i care about you and your situation rather than 'feel sorry for you'.
Im going to stop now.
xxoo

Kerry said...

We talked about this... I don't feel sorry for you! LOL... and what did you bring to the picnic??? Did you go with your first desire?? :)

Kim, Grandma to Ava,ws said...

I don't feel sorry for you, I promise! Sometimes WS isn't the worst thing in the world, is it?