I can not tell you how many times I have heard this over the past 5 months, honestly, it truly gets old. Maybe he does not give you more then you can handel but he sure knows how to push you to the limit. As I mentally prepare myself for Tatums MRI I have so many things that run through my head. I know that a MRI is not evasive but they still put her under and that is always a risk especially when there are heart issues involved. Not just today but lots I wonder the worst...
WHAT IF...What if something terrible happens, how do I explain that to Emma as well as deal with it myself...What if they find more problems? What if she does not out grow out of the stenosis? My what if's can go on and on.
I am not so good at expression through writting so I think I look to poems and now my other friends that have blogs. While googling around ( I love Google) I came across yet another beautiful poem that I wanted to share. Although it seems with everyday I am more at peace with Tatum's DX I still wonder how I am going to make it through the next few years without have a mental break down of my own. Boy are my friends sure in for a ride.
by Linda Jackson
As I look around this table, at the faces I see around it
They remind me of knights, battle weary with dented armor,
which tells a dreadful tale.
We fight against those who would simply label our children and walk away.
We fight and demand the services they need.
We fight and struggle with them day by day,
hoping and praying not another hospital stay
Doctors with new medications, will this one fail or succeed?
We fight to save the children who have no affliction,
but believe they are forgotten.
They see this battle with Mental Illness
They see on you it takes its toll
They see you fight to save this child's life and soul
They rest assured that you would do no less if it were them.
They know all too well how exhausted and drained you are
when each battle is done.
As well all look forward to the day when this war is won.
Hear me, so that you may know your reward may not come in this life,
But your deeds are well documented by your Father in Heaven.
For you see, He knew long before your birth what trials you would go through,
And had He not known the strength of character and spirit
He placed within your body
He would not have placed this cup before you.