Friday, January 26, 2007

Bureaucracy at is finest

Today I dropped my Girls off at Daycare and was greeted by Sydney. Sydney is from the
county child development program. She comes in the center 1 day a week to work with the 3 and 4 year olds preparing them for kindergarten. I was aware this was going on but really though nothing of it, until today…

This Woman presented me with an article called “SUPPORTING SIBLINGS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS”, while giving it to me she also let me know that she felt Emma has some emotional issues. Although she is clearly one of the smartest children in the class and has a ton of friends she tends to melt down very quick and be emotional when she does not get her own way. She told me that from her observation she guessed we spend most of our time with Tatum and maybe Emma is not getting enough attention at home. I guess her 20 years of part time experience allowed her to jump to such a bullshit conclusion. She questioned out bedtime routine as well as the time we spend with her. Her suggestion was family therapy and a book “How to talk so Children will listen and listen so children will talk”. I am sure it is a great book and I’ll more then likely pick it up unfortunately it is now number five on my books I have bought with no time to read list.

I was in tears by the time I left Daycare…I called my boss to tell her I would be a tad late because I had to get it together before I could go to work. After talking to Chris I went from sad upset to pissed off upset. First of all Emma is in no way ignored if anything we give her more attention because we do not want her to feel neglected. Emma is very aware that Tatum has a sick heart and lots of doctor appointments and actually included in some appointments. As far as emotional meltdowns I though that this was something common in three year olds, am I wrong. I would and will think that Emma has a problem the day she is having these meltdowns and her friends aren’t. As for now she seems no different then every other kid we are around.

I honestly feel like this woman thinks that she can pin point something on Emma because she has a “special needs “sister. I am aware the Emma is emotional and we are working on it but it is by no means out of hand and it is no different today then it was the day before Tatum was born. I feel like as a parent I am suddenly be analyzed and evaluated because we are a “Special needs family” Give me a break does everyone have to have an issue or need counseling because of life. Tatum is a baby that has nothing to do with the WS, Emma is 3 and emotional, that has nothing to do with the WS. Me being crabby may have a little to do with the WS but not a whole lot….

I hope this lady feels better and can go home tonight to enjoy her weekend knowing that her 20 yr part time allowed her to DX yet another well adjusted three year old… Really is this the face of a unhappy neglected three year old???


Anonymous said...

As the grandmother I think I will comment on this---Emma does melt down very easily---always has. Since Tatum has been born, Emma's meltdowns happen less often and are much shorter in length. As long as we all continue to be consistent, she will continue to grow out of them.
Love you lots,

Kerry said...

OH MY GOD!!!! Are you kidding me??? Having never met Emma face to face, I can still honestly say that Em acts like EVERY OTHER TODDLER, plus (no offense here) she's a girl to boot. Of course she's emotional. The minute though you put it in her head that she is acting like this because of Tate you will NEVER GET IT OUT of her head. So don't put it there.

I'm not saying that sibs never have issues, but I am a firm believer in not making a big deal or making excuses so others don't. That's why my peanut allergy son takes it in stride when he can't have the birthday cake at a party, and he knows that Brady has special problems and goes with the flow. Granted, he is older than Emma, but I know you probably treat her the way I would. I KNOW you give Em extra attention because sometimes she may get not enough due to whatever that day's cicumstances hold...

My brother has ulcerative colitis and all I can say is that I never felt jilted because he was sick and needed more attention (already used to that since he was the youngest and the only boy... LOL). I completely believe it was because my parents just took everything in stride and while it was very serious, it was just a part of our life so that's how it is. Brady has WS, that's our life and we all work together.

Anywho - -- go out tonight and have a drink - one on me! I will send you $10!

Kim, Grandma to Ava,ws said...

Lisa, I think you have been picked on more than enough lately. Tell the do-gooders to back off. I will tell you that when my Dominick was little he was a hellish monster when he wanted to be. He melted faster than ice in July! Whatever..keep on doing the best you can. You are a great mom. Miss Part-time better watch it...there are a lot of females out here who may have to chat with her!

Teresa & Shawn said...

Okay, I wrote this long comment and blogger deleted it on me!!

Ignore that lady, Lisa. Don't even read the book. I find many of those books crap! Jamie is so sensitive, emotional, and prone to temper tantrums. It's their age. And I have seen every one of the kids in our playgroup meltdown on a regular basis. They all have younger siblings, but Jamie is the only one with a special needs sibling, so BLAH, BLAH, BLAH to that lady!

Lisa said...

She sounds very typical to me. I find that when you have a special needs child people tend to scrutinize everything we do. Just ignore her.

Aspen said...

My dear Lisa, I HAVE seen first hand your dealings with Tatum and Emma. You and Chris are amazing parents and do an amazing job with both of your girls. They are both loved individually and cared for with love and support. Don't let this get you down. Pick yourself up off the ground and pat yourself on the back. You are an amazing mother and Chris is an amazing father. LOVE YOU!

Nancy said...

I'm no expert on this subject, but I believe the "experts" need to back the *&^%$ up off of you. Good gawd.

I have no doubt that it's hard having a sibling with problems, but you are smart enough to read your children and know what to do in every situation at this point. I'm with Teresa. Don't read the book. It will cause you more harm than good and make you second guess yourself.

I love you. Nuff said.

Kati said...

Hmmmmmmm, what a bitch...
Emma is beautiful and totally acts like a normal little girl!!!

Love, Kati