Well we made a decision and Starting in Feb Pim is going to stay home with the girls. Miss America was great but the language barrier was a bit much and I just do not know if I can call someone Miss America everyday. Emma needs someone to talk to during the day and while she would get used to Spanish I think that the transition for her is not going to be a easy one,why make it harder then it has to be. My friend Carol is a speech therp., she and her colleges felt it would be better to have Tatum around more English, especially if we know she is speech delayed. I am also not to sure how messages would be relayed to me or what would happen in the event of a emergency with America in charge.
I have forwarded Pim a lot of info on WS so she can understand Tatum a bit better and also so has know what the signs of HD are, she'll be aware of what to look for. Pim seemed eager to know about WS and very excited to start. She actually told me that i made her day.I have not called America yet to tell her it is not going to work out I think that it is going to be Chris' job this evening.
I have not really been having the easiest time the past few days every time I think about the future or little Tatum's heart it makes me sad. I have really been good for so long I am not so sure why I am falling apart about it now. Maybe it is because she is almost one or maybe it is because everything is coming up on a yr. I guess it could also be the reality that this is a permanent thing and my biggest fear is out living my baby, what a sick thought...
I hate to complain about everything almost as much as I hate to discuss the issues with most people but it is my blog and if I want to complain I am. I do not think that this necessarily means I am here in MD losing it I think it is just I am human and sad. It has just been a emotional past bunch of days...I have to tell you taking my kids out of daycare is also tearing me up, I get tears in my eyes just typing about it.
This past year I have really learned alot, nothing is perfect my live is in now way shape or form turning out how I expected and change is very hard. Through everything I do know that Chris, Emma and Tatum are my life and without them I really would not be able to make it.
I am so ready for a much calmer 2007 but I can let everyone know now I have my hands full so please so not expect anything out of me. My NY resolution is to no longer over extend and make sure that my family is first on the list.